Try these five tips when you are choosing friends and mates.
Comment – Not the deepest article on the subject but probably indicates how most people feel about this. The above is adapted from a Quora thread, which usually means average people are contributing to it.
Myself, it’s more about vibes. We all have a mix of high and low, light and heavy. But some people affect me so much in the negative that they interfere with my duties and have to be distanced or cut off.
It comes down to a cost – benefit analysis. If the thing slides into the negative with very little positive, time to make some distance. It’s not that I judge these people. But we do have a right to choose whom we associate with. And any mature person with half a sense would respect that and stay away after receiving a few obvious sings of wanting distance.
If they don’t, that’s toxic.
You have to walk. There is no other choice other than to refuse to enter their reality. I have earnt the hard way and have only just walked after 35 years.
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For me it’s about redefining appropriate distance or “boundaries.” Sometimes even when you walk you may still feel their harmful or heavy vibe to some degree. Up close it could be overwhelmingly awful.
As a Christian I try to love and not judge. But that does not mean I have to play (or identify with) the role of martyr. Hence I uphold the choice to not associate with certain individuals. Or keep them at arm’s length. They may look good on paper but it’s how they make us feel. That’s what counts.
Usually I think if someone carries a bad vibe they’re up to something dishonorable. Or have bad attitudes, unresolved issues, etc.
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